Reflecting on who we are, as individuals and as a race. I don't know. I always feel so insignificant and often like an imposter at everything, you know, like I am play acting at life.
I don't know. I try to be honest and genuine. I strive to work hard, know my job and learn a little bit more all the time. Sometimes I feel real empathy for my patients and their families, sometimes they are just that "the patient" and frustrating, annoying, pitiful, hate filled or just sad. Sometimes there is someone that so profoundly touches me, and the me inside that I don't let many touch, and they can change the paths you choose in the future.
I am reminded of a patient years and years ago when I was having one of the worst days of my life - at that point. I hadn't slept, felt completely lost and exposed and the one thing I did not want to do was to take care of someone else. We were called to a police station for a man that had wandered into someone's house in his pajamas. He was a very elderly Russian man who very obviously had Alzheimer's or dementia and did not know where he needed to be and was complaining of a little chest pain.
While caring for him, he never complained and stated that his chest pain was nothing - "ah, I ninety, you know how it is". He then clasped my hands and started making me learn to count to ten in Russian and to roll my r's as well as saying all of the names of his 8 siblings. He was wonderful and sweet and EXACTLY what I needed right then. Before arriving at the hospital this patient asked me all sorts of silly questions about what I thought was different in America vs Russia. We apparently drink too much beer, but, he said they drink too much Vodka and the biggest thing was that we look at one another and we touch one another, whether for comfort, friendship, love ... whatever. He said, "in Russia, we no look and we never, ever touch." He loved that about us and whether my hand in his helped him or not, his hand holding mine changed me just a little.
I need another little old Russian man right now .....
I don't know. I try to be honest and genuine. I strive to work hard, know my job and learn a little bit more all the time. Sometimes I feel real empathy for my patients and their families, sometimes they are just that "the patient" and frustrating, annoying, pitiful, hate filled or just sad. Sometimes there is someone that so profoundly touches me, and the me inside that I don't let many touch, and they can change the paths you choose in the future.
I am reminded of a patient years and years ago when I was having one of the worst days of my life - at that point. I hadn't slept, felt completely lost and exposed and the one thing I did not want to do was to take care of someone else. We were called to a police station for a man that had wandered into someone's house in his pajamas. He was a very elderly Russian man who very obviously had Alzheimer's or dementia and did not know where he needed to be and was complaining of a little chest pain.
While caring for him, he never complained and stated that his chest pain was nothing - "ah, I ninety, you know how it is". He then clasped my hands and started making me learn to count to ten in Russian and to roll my r's as well as saying all of the names of his 8 siblings. He was wonderful and sweet and EXACTLY what I needed right then. Before arriving at the hospital this patient asked me all sorts of silly questions about what I thought was different in America vs Russia. We apparently drink too much beer, but, he said they drink too much Vodka and the biggest thing was that we look at one another and we touch one another, whether for comfort, friendship, love ... whatever. He said, "in Russia, we no look and we never, ever touch." He loved that about us and whether my hand in his helped him or not, his hand holding mine changed me just a little.
I need another little old Russian man right now .....
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