Woot!

So, Monday has long since passed and I have been soooo crazy busy that I haven't been online really at all, except a quick look now and again via the phone.  I GOT THE JOB!!!  I was just crazy excited at first, then a bit overwhelmed with everything I have to accomplish in the next week and a half.  Now?  Well, things seem to be falling into place.  Proof that this is the right move?  I'd like to think so.  If not, the only thing I will be out is pride I suppose.  Looking forward to the opportunity, new community and dreading leaving my boys at work as well as the periods of separation from the family.

Stay safe and stay smart ....... off to get more done!

and we wait ....

Advised that the wait is continued until Monday now.  Fuck me.  I may not survive.  Good things come to those that wait?  Shit

Waiting ....

I hate waiting.  Most people dislike it but I am almost non-functional, cranky, grumpy, jumpy and just flat fucking scared.

The interview was amazing, the staff phenomenal, the station changed my opinion about a lot of things that are possible.  There were quirks and hurdles - not going to lie - but all within my capacity to work around, try and fix or deal with.  So.  I have to wait, up to a week.  I swear I will be so wired by Friday it may not matter if the job is offered - my friends, co-workers and family may have already murdered me and buried me in a deep ass grave never to be found as to not deal with my insanity any longer.

The base of the pay range would still allow me to make a bit more than I am currently, working 4 fucking jobs and killing myself every day.  The status and potential is exponential and that is hard to even imagine. So, prayers for clarity, speed and decisiveness, please.

Terrified

Opportunity came calling this week.  I have an interview tomorrow that I really never thought would happen.  Excited.  Terrified.  Nervous.  Exhilarated.  So many conflicting emotions running rampant right now.  I just wish the time would fly so that it would be time and I could just move to the next step, whatever that is.  If it's right .... lots of changes.  If it isn't ... disappointment but "normal" isn't all that bad right now.

Protect me from .... me

Sometimes I do the dumbest things.  Maybe not dumb ..... but definitely unwise.  I have this problem with self control.  I can normally have a little bit and be appropriate in society and relationships, however, add a drop of alcohol or temptation (even without the booze) and BOOM, yep I fuck it up.  What often makes it worse is the honesty that I give out at the same time.  Ask me a question?  Yep, no filter, no self protection just absolute, blunt honesty irregardless of how it might hurt me in the end.

Thank God my last, uhm, slip(?) was a protected one.  Sounds goofy to say that.  I just have no idea how else to explain without tattling on myself.  A trusted, loved person and surrounded by others that are loved and trusted .... ergo protected all around.  I just think the best idea is to appoint a babysitter to me and keep me from myself ....

Is that possible?

Pissed

Who ever thinks that they have the right to tell some one's child something about them that they were not asked to tell?  Rights.  That's kinda huge.  I never believe that something about someone is mine to share with others.  It just isn't mine, therefore, not my story to tell.  It doesn't matter how small or how big.  We are often disrespectful of other people's information and shouldn't be.  It has the power to change things.  If I choose to change things that is one thing - someone deciding for me just pisses me off.  Fucking dick.

Kids

Wolf, Dragon & Butterfly

Like a dragon

He roars through my life.

Often ferocious,

Sometimes contrite.

Ever full of strength

In mind and body

With intellect

And devotion

Matched by none.

Like a butterfly

She glides along my life.

Always energetic,

Swooping with delight.

Ever full of support

In mind and body

With compassion

And empathy

Second to none.

Like a wolf

She pounces into my life.

Endlessly watchful,

Howling with delight.

Ever full of strategy

Her mind always working

With amazing spirit

And a soul

That sings as it howls.