The blog has been therapeutic for me, however, in the last few days or so I cannot think of anything to write down. I have either already said it and feel ridiculous for continuing on a rant about life or I'm really ok right now.
So, I am never really okay. I suppose that much is true. Right now I seem to be on pretty level ground though. Perhaps that is the hardest part of dealing with the crap life hands you. When you are on a big high and are handed shit - you fall hard and fast but hold tight to the belief that something will make it all get better eventually. When you are low and handed shit - you just stare at it, realize that it's just more shit, cope and walk on. Step by step. Day by day. Sometimes you can see the horizon and where you're headed, other times the fog just settles in. During those times it seems the people that mean the most in your life step up, embrace you all while holding your hand through the fog.
I am often amazed at the way people step up. It shows how much they love and how well they know you. The shoulder I have used the most in the last few months has surprised me. He is a good, strong friend that has been through more than most of us can even imagine. Gentle and soft spoken unless drinking or protective nature strikes - then watch the fuck out. He is never obtrusive, he is just there. Lots of my brothers have amazed me. When they had nothing left to give ... they gave. I wish I had words that could express to them what they mean in my life.
Apparently, today is a sappy day - hate feeling like that. Makes me feel like a little girl. Hard to explain, but admitting that in itself isn't easy.
Take care, live and love, embrace those around you for the seconds you have them.
So, I am never really okay. I suppose that much is true. Right now I seem to be on pretty level ground though. Perhaps that is the hardest part of dealing with the crap life hands you. When you are on a big high and are handed shit - you fall hard and fast but hold tight to the belief that something will make it all get better eventually. When you are low and handed shit - you just stare at it, realize that it's just more shit, cope and walk on. Step by step. Day by day. Sometimes you can see the horizon and where you're headed, other times the fog just settles in. During those times it seems the people that mean the most in your life step up, embrace you all while holding your hand through the fog.
I am often amazed at the way people step up. It shows how much they love and how well they know you. The shoulder I have used the most in the last few months has surprised me. He is a good, strong friend that has been through more than most of us can even imagine. Gentle and soft spoken unless drinking or protective nature strikes - then watch the fuck out. He is never obtrusive, he is just there. Lots of my brothers have amazed me. When they had nothing left to give ... they gave. I wish I had words that could express to them what they mean in my life.
Apparently, today is a sappy day - hate feeling like that. Makes me feel like a little girl. Hard to explain, but admitting that in itself isn't easy.
Take care, live and love, embrace those around you for the seconds you have them.
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